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  • Sunday, October 26, 2008

    Sea Kittens Invade Yellowstone


    Hookless Flies In Vogue
    PETA To The Rescue

    .. The campaign to "Re-brand" fish as 'sea kittens' is picking up steam as PETA takes it's fight to the streets in London. They are, again, deadly serious in this undertaking.
    .. They feel that by renaming fish as sea kittens the public will treat fish more humanely.
    [[ What could be more humane than releasing fish -- after stabbing them in the jaw, battling them to exhaustion, dragging them on their side's to the shore, squeezing their guts, and depriving them of oxygen? Yup, it's us they are after!]]

    .. We're sorry to be four days late on this report but we were 'sea kitten hunting' and missed the story in the Telegraph. We apologize and beg forgiveness for this negligence.
    .. The picture in the Telegraph article shows exemplary form for fish porn and it's obvious that we need their pointers on how to present the cats of the day, (OOPS, catch of the day.)
    .. The PETA site SAVE THE SEA KITTENS is aimed at children and has cutsie stories and even an interactive build a sea kitten page. Such creativity is sure to turn daughters against fathers, and sons against mothers in the fight to avoid batter fried sea kittens.
    .. Here's hoping that the National Park Service moves quickly to stem the invasion of sea kittens into Yellowstone National Park.
    .. The sea kitten incubator and nursery known as Hebgen Lake is full of these critters and they may just destroy the fish if their population gets out of hand.
    .. By all means be sure that your offspring signs the online petition to the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service. It asks them to quit promoting sea kitten hunting.
    .. We wonder what's next? How about "Re-branding" rattlesnakes as sand hamsters? Or, whales as pelagic porkers. Or, snails as peat bunnies. Well, that's enough of that!
    .. We're planning our semi-annual golf getaway. And, it's hard to understand how the wild golfs continue to propagate without their balls. PETA should be in this arena too.
    .. As we do each spring to break the funk of cabin fever, we do in the fall to prepare for the long winter's sleep.
    .. Golf is far more relaxing than fishing. There is no anticipation, no getting wet, no sand, no trees in the way, no uncomfortable shoes, no missed strikes, no glib kibitzers, no press of time, and no counting of strokes.
    .. We've had some special balls made. They swim to shore, poison our companions, hold tight to the green, and are allergic to dry sand. We anticipate better results on the links this trip than on the last venture. We hope that PETA isn't watching.
    .. Our motivation for these retreats is the same each year and is a simple one: maybe we'll bump into Natalie Gulbis or Sophie Sandolo. We need their autographs for our collection.
    .. Sophie was kind enough to send us a seasonal photo for this post and we thank her from the bottom of our heart. Such desire to please fans is going beyond the call of duty.
    .. We know that PETA will try to "Re-brand" Sophie as something like 'Links Lion' - perhaps appropriate!