Fish Abuse

ALL TYPES - SOME FUNNY

some dumb

oh well
(fishing is good)

.. The "How Stuff Works" site has an article about removing hooks and killing fish. Since we all know it all there's no need to read it HERE.

MONEY QUOTE:
Say Cheese!

Photographing your catch is a good way to show off your skills without mounting a fish on your wall. But for the sake of the fish, you've got to do it quick. Make sure your photographer has the camera ready and pre-focused. Until then keep the fish wet and calm. Crouch down close to the water and carefully hold the fish with two hands, supporting it under the belly and firmly by the tail. Wait a second for the fish to become accustomed to your grasp and then carefully lift it less than a foot from the water. Flash your pearly whites, take the picture immediately and return the fish gently back to the water.

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.. From the "FOUND SHIT" site's animal pages comes the aquarium light bulb. You can find more HERE.

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.. From 'Swimmy' at the "railbirds poker community" comes a thought about body art.

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.. From the advertising site "LOVE THE COOL" comes a tongue tattoo that must have been an excruciating experience. Imagine the possibilities. Imagine the pain. Yummy.

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.. The morning fogs over this last weekend gave way in late morning to absolutely divine nymphing weather: persistent overcast punctuated with small drizzles and anemic rays of sun. There were only moderate breezes, and the temperatures were downright tropical, (30' and 40's.)
.. The fish at Campfire Lodge were so overjoyed at the weather that they ate anything presented - except the midges that were present in copious quantities - go figure.
.. The footpaths to the water are now becoming trails and the neighbors are doing their best to scandalize the fish before the hoards of visitors arrive for their turn. There are still active spawners in the water between the lakes, and redds are visible from shore.
.. Given the current cooperative attitude of the trout there is no need to wade. There is no need to even aim at "fishy" places. And, there is no need to be delicate in your presentation. The 'spring bite' is on and it's a welcome change.
.. We started the weekend with Midge Clusters and Feather Dusters but quickly switched to Jacklin's Rock Worm and Bead Head Tungsten Hot Wire Prince Nymphs.
.. We were so enamored with the photos at River Bum that we actually sent money for the Hot Wire Nymphs - good investment. It seems that green is good right now.
.. A couple of the neighbors were doing well with caddis-green Stiff Hackles. Green is the color of my true Love's . . . .
.. We left the winter grub box at home. Elizabeth brought hers and nailed a nice 20" rainbow at Awkward Bend. The drift was poor after an horrible and splashy cast. Hungry fish make the difference.
.. We spent a lazy two hours watching the worm folks gather up giant fish from the bits of open water at the tail end of Quake Lake.
.. A good cast can still reach the ice. Just a tug and wait for the strike. It works with a Gob of Worms or a dark purple San Juan Worm too: just not as well.

Sunrise Service

MADISON AT SUNRISE

A New Bandwagon

QUICK: BEFORE YOU MISS IT

One More Lovely Diversion
It'll Turn Around The Economy!

or . . . just talk the talk

.. Time was that a brown line had something to do with underwear. No longer is that the only case. When the Wall Street Journal writes about it you know it's part of mainstream America. And, Martha, when it only takes two days for the Evil Conservative Radio to pick it up from the WSJ you know that permeation into the society at large has been completed.
.. Unbeknown to the staff of the WSJ an economic revolution is upon us. It's here and now and, growing like tadpoles in a sewer.
.. Fly fishers for trout are a cliquish bunch. Occasionally, they trend toward imperiousness and snottiness: yet they are easily led to joining "the right" organizations, trends, and movements. Most of them never drowned a worm and never met a bandwagon that they didn't like. Sign 'em up; there's enough spare change to go around.
.. "Catch & Release?" woot! woot! - the salvation of the fly fishing experience. Sign us up, make it our religion, practice it without thinking; everywhere, all the time. Any trout is too noble to be tortured only once.
.. "Barbless Hooks?" RIGHT ON! Damn the stiletto effect, forget the deep, infected wounds and marble-sized cysts, trout look tough with infected scars on their chin.
.. "Deep Wading?" YOU got it! To hell with the redds and the next generation of fish. To hell with the trout that just vacated the hole our boots filled with silt. Trout don't care where they park.
.. Not only do we join quickly enough to transform trends into movements. We staunchly defend the movement as God's own truth against the scoffers and critics.
.. Vile terms spew from the lips of gentle sportsmen like the vitriol of an impassioned preacher. We damn the unrepentant. We damn the heretics and unbelievers. "Send them to hell." "May they rot in a worm-ridden & lead lined purgatory."
.. Now, [fanfare,] it's the "Brown Line," (or, Brownlining, or Brownliners or Brownliner's, - if you choose.) It's a bandwagon that has run afoul of the "Name-It-And-Nail-It" syndrome. Got a handle for it now? Good; it's a trend!
.. Of course any fly fisher worth their felt soled waders has been doing it for decades. Just ask them. And, of course, Mildred, they just never talked about it before it became popular.
.. They probably, in fact, spent most of their fishing time with their buddies on the glory waters a bit farther from home than the nearest culvert or storm drain. They most assuredly never fished too far from the last place on the rutted road that their shiny sedan could crawl to.
.. Back in those days there was a piscatorial rule:

"The quality of fishing is directly proportional to the distance traveled from home."

.. Aah, Matilda, the times - they are a changing. Gainful employment will have to be found in other quarters.
.. The dusty and cluttered aisles of feather merchants are now filled with whispers of favorite ditches. This sells maps.
.. Small tributaries are hot topics of conversation. Itty bitty bits of water loom large in the psyche of fishers. Hidden culverts become destinations of choice. The movement is here now, and thriving. It is generating an unstoppable economic pressure.
.. Soon the movement will be adopted by the huddled masses in their search for meaning. Popular culture will adopt the movement and it will become the fishing discipline of choice.
.. Hoards of unwashed picadors will extol the virtues of "little water." They will create the buzz that drives a consumer economy.
.. Wall Mart and Shakespeare will team up to provide "The Brownline Fishing Kit." This will sell in the millions and create demand for additional products.
.. The expansion of the movement into the realms of religion should not be far behind. And, Mareah dear, the joiners will be legion. Worship will be held in temples of masonry and concrete. Of necessity, remodeling for the new sanctuaries will provide many more jobs.
.. Saturdays and Fridays and Sundays will be spent worshiping at the alter of sludge and tiny trickles. Trek to your temple and sing hosanna. Burn some gas and stimulate spending.
.. As the movement gathers steam the fishing community will have to expand it's profile. It will claim new and innovative methods and techniques.
.. The return of novelties such as the one-weight will thoroughly astound rod manufacturers. Production of the "Browners" will be accelerated and jobs, along with wealth, will be created.
.. Demand for information and entertainment will explode at such a rapid pace that the "Economic Downturn" will be slowed. The lips of grocery clerks and taxi drivers will will be filled with the praises of the "Brownline Revolution."
.. First, Magdalena, there will be YouTube videos. Then there will be touring feature length films. The bandwagon will roll through your neighborhood and gather up your shekels for a few moments of vicarious pleasure, (you will attend - everyone else does.) And, Martinella, joss will flow and coin will be rattled. The boom will be on.
.. Certainly, Myrna, there will be new attractions in Florida, California, and Texas. It won"t take long before "The Mouse" finds a way to capitalize on the movement. Discretionary funds will begin to reappear in the lint filled pockets of hard working Americans.
.. Gear manufacturers will produce entire new lines of trendy clothing and accouterments for you to purchase. You can don the uniform and stroll through the mall -- the neighbors will be green. They will then spend their green to keep up with you.
.. There will be a lag in literature. There always is. The literati will survey the situation and ponder the meaning of the frenzy and it's implications.
.. Bloggers will be the first to publish. Each will claim that they were "Browning before Browning was cool." They will feast in the new and unexploited pasture of opportunity. Posts will proliferate like pollen in the spring.
.. Inevitably, however, Maxine, there will be a legitimate published prose. It will flow like brown lines into the obscure landscape of the revitalized economy.
.. There is no way a person can be a 'true' fly fisher, (let alone a Brownliner,) without an enormous body of literature to fawn over and criticize. Of course the development of this literature will take time and provide many jobs.
.. The first of the works will be simple knockoffs for profit. You can easily imagine the titles and content of the first dozen or so works:

• "A Sewer Runs Through It,"
  
• "The Brownliner's Guide To The Upper Sac,"
• "My Life As A Brownliner,"
• "The Old Man And His Brownline"
• "Brownliner's Paradise"
• "Fly Fishing The Brownline" . . . etc.

.. Soon after the exploitation movement in literature will come the "studied prose period." These works will include titles like: "A Thinking Man's Guide To Brownlining," & "The Brownliner's Handbook." Others will probably sound like: "My Salvation is the Brownline," & "Reveries Upon A Secluded Brownline."
.. As the intelligentsia catches up with popular culture a mature literature in the field will develop. Courses in elementary schools and colleges will proliferate. Children will want to "Grow-Up to be Brownliners." New curriculum specialists will be needed to integrate the movement into the existing course of study.
.. Montana State University will initiate courses in: "The Economics Of Brownling," "Social Implications of the Brownline Movement," (again, nothing to do with underwear,) The Meaning Of Brownlines," "Applied Brownlining," and the highly predictable course - "Brownlining 101."
.. Debates, discussions, arguments, and wars, (all economic stimulants,) will be spawned by the Brownline Movement.
.. Where was it born? What is "TRUE" Brownlining. Where's the best Brownlining? Who's the best Brownliner? And since opinions are like brown lines, (everyone has one,) there will be much time and effort and money spent defending the "correct" position, (more economic stimulus.)
.. Graduate Brownliners will be in demand as guides and speakers. Feather fluffer's and importers will develop new fly patterns and export the manufacture of them to Indonesia and Africa.
.. Economic growth will surround the world as the American innovations are adopted by the rest of mankind. Joy will return to the fisher's epitome and all will be good again. The economic recovery will be a wonder for all to behold.

And more elbow room on the Firehole River.

Gone To The Gov.

HB 190 FINAL VERSION

Just Needs Signature
(P.S. Hebgen Flows To Remain "normal")

.. We told you we'd let you know. The third, and final, reading of the Montana "Clarify Bridge Access" bill has been completed.

It passed by a vote of 96 - 3.

.. It's headed to Governor Brian Schweitzer for a simple stroke of the pen.
.. The bill's language is HERE - HTML, or HERE - PDF. The PDF Version has line numbers, and is new this year. The history is HERE.
.. It's not a perfect bill, but it goes a long way toward clarifying access stipulations and provides the means for public access as well as attachment of fences to bridge abutments for property management and stock control.
.. Montana has a stream access law that is the envy of fisher folks throughout the nation. It's provisions are a goal for many other state's fisher folks.
.. It even has it's own Wikipedia page, in case you need to know the definition of "ordinary high water mark." The page also describes the legalities of portage above the ordinary high water mark to avoid obstacles and obstructions. It's worth a read.
.. The clarifications in this bill are a good compromise and they protect the rights and detail the obligations of both fishers and land owners.
.. As far as fishers are concerned the important part of the bill is Section 3:

Section 3. Fencing for livestock control and public passage -- negotiation -- costs. (1) At county road bridges for which public access is authorized pursuant to [section 2], each fence attached to or abutting a county road bridge edge, guardrail, or abutment for livestock control or for property management pursuant to 7-14-2134(4) must provide for public passage to surface waters for recreational use pursuant to this section.

.. As far as land owners are concerned the same section is important for detailing the kind of access to be provided and the negotiated costs associated with the provided access.
.. We would hope that both state and local sportsman groups would get on board and establish programs to provide the means of access and defray the costs associated with them. This would be an important step in relieving the cost burden assigned to counties and Montana FWP by the current bill.
.. We greatly appreciate the hard work done by all of our state legislators and the consulting agencies and organizations.
.. Last session this issue was a morass of name calling and pigheadedness. This year, conversational cooperation won the day.
.. We may soon see access stiles sprouting across the landscape. It won't happen over night, but it will happen. This is a good thing.
.. With the population growth and in-migration of wealth to Montana there will continue to be conflicts and concerns about the issue of stream access. We hope that the conversational tone of this rational compromise will set the stage for civil reconciliation in the future.

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.. P.S. a note in the Bozeman Chronicle details the repair plans for the intake structure at Hebgen Dam. Check it out if you are interested in fishing between the lakes, or the rest of the downstream Madison River.

Migration & Metamorphosis

EXPANDED HORIZONS AND FORMAT

The Group Becomes A Tribe

a blog and more

.. The folks at Best Fly Fishing Yellowstone have moved to a new residence in order to house their ever-growing staff of contributors. They have also expanded their horizons to include most of Southern Montana.

.. These energetic self-proclaimed 'non-experts' are on a mission to serve up information, stories, tips, travels, and adventures in the fly fishing mecca that we know as Montana. As our beloved and sainted grandmother used to say: "GOOD ON 'EM."
.. The new site name is Chi Wulff. Add this new URL to your favorite addresses: http://chiwulff.com/ . We're leaving the old address in our header for a few weeks, just in case some of our infrequent visitors need the wealth of information in the old site.
.. And, like the very dynamic that is fly fishing, the new site is incomplete and evolving as you read this. We look for good things from that quarter. Click on over and join the adventures.

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.. Fishing Jones thinks 100 is a good number. Why? Check out his accounting post, - and the comments.

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.. The Mother Of All Brook Trout Holes ! Where is it? Check HDW - mobile for a bit of fodder for your Brookie daydreams.

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.. Bob Janiskee over at National Parks Traveler has an interesting piece about the aquatic equivalent of kudzu. Just what the heck is this invasive species?
.. Will it be in a body of water near you ? Does the video disturb you? Click HERE to find out.

Wonderland Despoiled

FIX GOD'S MISTAKE

he overlooked the best waters

nps to the rescue

.. While pondering the upcoming road closures and delays in Yellowstone National Park, we were struck with the thought that it's not such a catastrophe after all. For, indeed, the upper Gibbon River was devoid of trout prior to our introducing them.
.. In fact, the majority of the park's "fishing streams" were devoid of trout. This fact saddened the commercial and sporting interests of the day, (much as it gladdens those same hearts today.)
.. After all the pristine waters were full of bugs and crustaceans and pools and runs and riffles and such. They cried out to the Victorian Anglophile for 'SPORT.'
.. The informed wisdom of the day decided that enough was known about the world that planting a few bass would do no harm. They planted trout too. We suffer from the same fallacious thoughts today; knows-it-all that we are.
.. The history of fish planting in Yellowstone National Park is fairly well told. It is, sadly, poorly known.
.. The libraries are full of the references, and now the Internet is beginning to blossom with references. Not just titles and excerpts, but complete works are now becoming available. It's coming along slowly but, like the grinding wheels of the gods, exceedingly well.
.. Very few people consider the extensive invasive fish populations as despoliation. Certainly not the feather merchants of the gateway towns. Of course fly fishers don't even think that far.
.. Most visitors to Yellowstone love the idea that there are fish; most of them don't fish. It probably stems from the fact that aquatic flies and crustaceans and native fish have few friends.
.. It may stem from the common misconception that rivers are just water and not dynamic ecological wonderlands in, and of, themselves. It may just be that we don't really care about natural processes and that we feel that what ever we muck up is just fine.
.. That certainly was the case in 1890. It is seemingly the case today. Who, we do wonder, would even advocate that the native aquafauna be restored?
.. It would seem that only the wolf and the bison have real friends. Fisher folks certainly are no friend of the native aquafauna of Yellowstone. We just catch 'em and release 'em - woot woot! Better to catch invasive fish than no fish.
.. Imagine the Gibbon River and the Firehole River, (above their respective falls,) devoid of trout. What wonderful biological laboratories they would be: aquatic life forms in their native habitat without the predation of invasive species like trout. Who knows what wonders could have been discovered?
.. As we watch the disappearance of the Yellowstone Cutthroat in Yellowstone Lake we can only dream about what the cutthroat fishery would have been today without the monster char that is feasting on the indigenous fish.
.. As we watch the disappearance of the cutthroat in Slough Creek we can only imagine with fond reverie what glorious specimens there could still be, had not the religion of catch and release allowed the rainbows to breed the natives out of existence.
.. We have gone so far as to enshrine the Lake Fish Hatchery on the National Register of Historic Places. Egad, what amazing harm that institution did to the indigenous population of native fish.

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.. For those interested in the way we planted fish in Yellowstone and the rationale that supported the despoliation of the rivers, the references below are worth the reading.
.. For those who would rather fish the artificial fisheries of Yellowstone - woot woot!
--> FLY FISHING IN WONDERLAND (Yellowstone National Park), KLAHOWYA, Copyright, 1910 By O.P. Barnes
--> THE FISHES OF THE YELLOWSTONE NATIONAL PARK, By W. C KENDALL, Assistant, United States Bureau of Fisheries, APPENDIX VIII TO THE REPORT OF THE U. S. COMMISSIONER OF FISHERIES FOR 1914; Bureau of Fisheries Document No. 818, WASHINGTON, GOVERNMENT PRINTING OFFICE 1915
--> FISHES OF THE YELLOWSTONE NATIONAL PARK - With Description of the Park Waters and Notes on Fishing, By Hugh M. Smith and William C. Kendall, APPENDIX III TO THE REPORT OF THE U. S. COMMISSIONER OF FISHERIES FOR 1921
--> Trout Shangri-La, Remaking the Fishing in Yellowstone National Park. by John Byorth, From Montana: The Magazine of Western History, #52 (Summer 2002), 38-47.
--> For a contemporary, (Woot Woot,) point of view you should check out what Wikipedia allows to be printed: "Yellowstone National Park and its rivers and lakes has always been a mecca for serious fisherman, especially fly fisherman."
..Gazooks - "always" is a long long time, and certainly extends past the introduction of invasive trout to say nothing of the 'always' before the explosive beginnings of the current landscape. And, "serious"? Perhaps it is just unthinking or uninformed fishermen in this reference. This stub appears all over the Internet and is becoming gospel. Woot Woot Woot!
--> And for the broader perspective of how fishing attracts "spenders" to the park check out: A History of Concession Development in Yellowstone National Park, 1872 to 1966, By Mary Shivers Culpin, National Park Service, Yellowstone Center for Resources, Yellowstone National Park, Wyoming: YCR-CR-2003-01, 2003
.. Of course the unasked question looms large. "Do you love Yellowstone National Park or just the artificial fishing opportunities within it's despoiled rivers?"

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OTHER STUFF

.. HB 190, passed second reading concurred with amendments: vote = 93 - 6. Third reading today . . . . . CHECK HERE.
.. SB 15, probably dead; missed deadline for general bill transmittal. Walleyes never came to a vote in committee.
.. Marginally related: A new, unlinked, USGS page that purports to answer questions about the bulge in Yellowstone Lake, and includes a map from an 'in-press' publication showing faults and hydrogeology. A couple of the links are broken, and there seems to be a "new" Biscuit Basin, but it's worth a visit. We are awaiting the risk assessment.

Hitch In Your Get-A-Long

YELLOWSTONE ROAD WORK

Plan Very Carefully
Plan Very, Very, Carefully

Plan Very, Very, Very, . . .

this will crimp your style

.. There is going to be a beautiful new road complete with bridge in Yellowstone National Park. It will be smooth, wide, and absolutely glorious. Construction has been going on for about three years now. How sweet it is.
.. Just one problem: it's going to restrict travel. And then -- horror of horrors, it's going to eliminate travel through the Gibbon River Canyon after August 16, 2009!
.. AGAIN: if you are in West Yellowstone on August 17, 2009, (and for the remainder of the season,) you will need to take the long way around to get to the upper Gibbon River, the Yellowstone River, Slough Creek, Soda Butte Creek, the Lamar River, and other choice Fall fishing destinations in the north and eastern part of the park. This is an important bit of information. For all visitors, not just fishers.

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.. So, you fished Nez Perce Creek yesterday: it was just better than O.K. and you decide to fish second meadow on Slough Creek today. You now have a choice of two travel plans if you are in West Yellowstone:
---> Travel Plan #1] Get up way too early, eat stale donuts and drink cold coffee as you head to Old Faithful. Enjoy the peak-season crowds and gawker blocks. Arrive at Old Faithful in time for a decent breakfast, (but opt out,) and continue on to scenic Craig Pass (don't stop to admire the view of the Tetons.) Cross the Continental Divide twice, and don't stop to wonder at Isa Lake. Continue on past West Thumb and through the tunnel of trees on the shore of Yellowstone Lake. Bypass the Lake Hotel and the Upper and Lower Falls of the Yellowstone River. Carefully negotiate the traffic jams along the Dunraven Pass road and try not to slow down for bear sightings. Arrive at Roosevelt in time for lunch, (but opt out for more cold coffee and donut crumbs,) and head down the road toward the promised land. Go very slowly and avoid the visitors watching Rosie and her cubs. Please don't go too fast past the photographers and their 800mm lenses taking pictures of the wolves, (vibration will ruin their images.) Finally, turn left on the dusty road and try to find a place to park. Rig up and begin the trek toward Second Meadow. As the sun sinks below the yardarm over your shoulder be sure to ask those fishers coming out how the fishing was. Just missed a great hatch? Well, you can probably get back to West Yellowstone in time for a late dinner.
---> Travel Plan #2] Get up way too early, eat stale donuts and drink cold coffee as you head north to the construction zone in the Gallatin River Canyon. Smile knowingly at the fishers landing fish in choice spots during a classic spinner fall. Turn off the car lights and enjoy the early morning light at beautiful 4-Corners. Decide if you want to brave the morning rush hour and road construction in Bozeman or go north through Belgrade and intersect scenic Interstate 90. Follow the Interstate, (along with all the other commuters,) to Livingston, Montana - or thereabouts, watch for the Yellowstone Park sign.) Travel south through The Paradise Valley and be smug as you pass all the fishing opportunities. Arrive at Pray, Montana and enjoy the beautiful valley view -- but don't stop for pizza or fishing or Chico Hot Springs. Travel along the Yellowstone River and avoid looking at the wader-laden and boat-filled water as you head toward Gardiner. Take a two block detour and wave at the good folks at Parks' Fly Shop, (stopping would be better.) Dodge the pedestrians and zoom toward the Roosevelt Arch. Follow the winding road to Mammoth and be sure to take the right road. Cross the big bridge and enjoy the scenery as you head toward the intersection at Roosevelt. Rosie might be on this side of the mountain, (she had 3 cubs last year - her name is traditional and has been worn by many bears.) Don't stop for ribs & Roosevelt Beans, as good as they are, (it's past lunch time anyway -- and there's still some acid, disguised as coffee, in the other thermos.) Then, please don't go too fast past the photographers and their 800mm lenses taking pictures of the wolves, (vibration will ruin their images.) Finally, turn left on the dusty road and try to find a place to park. Rig up and begin the trek toward Second Meadow. As the sun sinks below the yardarm over your shoulder be sure to ask those fishers coming out how the fishing was. Just missed a great hatch? Well, you can probably get back to West Yellowstone in time for a late dinner -- OR, spend the night at Chico Hot Springs and drive back in the morning, OR sleep in the car, get a ticket and fish here tomorrow.
.. It's exhausting to think about it.

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.. What's it all mean? There are several implications and consequences for the fly fisher. Take heed! Fishing pressure is going to be rearranged and not as predictable as in recent years. Lodging is a prime concern. Fishing destinations must be carefully considered.
.. After August 17, 2009 there will be two, (yes Martha, TWO,) Yellowstone National Parks -- as far as fishers are concerned. Fish the West Side or fish the East and North Side. These are your choices. There will be no travel between Norris and Madison Junction.
.. You will not be able to easily fish both the Madison River & the Lamar River from the same bedroom. It will be a herculean effort to fish the Firehole River & Soda Butte Creek if you stay in either West Yellowstone or Gardiner.
.. As silly as it seems, the Lake Hotel and cabins may be the best solution for those that want to fish on both sides of Yellowstone National Park this Fall.
.. DO THIS NOW! Call your favorite fly shop. Ask them about the situation. Get your lodging squared away early, nay DO IT NOW TOO ! As far as fisher folks are concerned, your favorite home away from home may be booked. Things will be different and seeing the park will be confusing at best. Fishing will be worse unless you plan and make some hard decisions.
.. For an exceedingly excellent perspective from the northern part of the park visit the decision and road work page at PARKS' FLY SHOP Road Work Page.
.. Yellowstone National Park has a page about all the closures and delays for the coming summer season: VISIT IT HERE. We're glad that they have let us know this early, it will make a difference. We can hear the whining now.